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4 Ways a Daily Practice Will Help You Move Through a Divorce

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Divorce. I’ve been there.

The anger. The frustration. The confusion. The sadness. The regret.

All the transitioning.

Your life for the past “X” amount of years suddenly seems like one big lie.

What was real? What wasn’t?

But more importantly: Who am I?

Yes. Divorce can be devastating. Divorce IS devastating.

Even when it’s mutually agreed upon, it’s a huge change.

So what can you do to move forward?

Well, a lot actually: therapy, coaching, move to a new country, start a new hobby, change your job, make new friends.

(Ok, yes: so I actually ended up doing all of those).

BUT, the number one thing you can do to move through a divorce is develop a daily practice.

Why?

Here are 4 ways a daily practice will help you move through a divorce:

1. A daily practice will give you the time & space to be yourself
It’s true. For months – er, a year – I was downright devastated. All of the woulda, coulda, shouldas. The “what if’s” & “why me’s.” It was endless.

But my practice was just that: MY practice. Every day, for a set period of time, I allowed myself to be whatever it was I needed to be that day. Most days in the beginning, I was angry. So I cried. I yelled. I sat in silence.

There was no judgement & I let the emotions flow freely.

And I always felt better when I was done.

Your practice is YOUR time to express yourself, which is extremely important during divorce.

2. A daily practice will help you uncover who you are, without the influence of anybody or anything

I’d been with my husband for 12 years when we decided to get divorced. I had no clue who I was, unattached & making decisions on my own.

I couldn’t remember how I spent my free time before I got married. I couldn’t remember what I liked to do before I started compromising (sometimes too much) on every decision in my life.

So my daily practice became a time to explore. At first, I explored my body & emotions through yoga. Then I moved to creative expression, everything from painting, to dancing, to singing.

Over time, I learned what I did & did not like, without any outside input. I also started to remember who I was before my marriage, which was extremely empowering. Not all those that wander are lost!

You can use your practice as a time to explore, everything from your body, to your emotions, to your creativity & unique personal expression. This can be extremely empowering during a divorce!

3. A daily practice serves as an anchor amidst all the moving parts in your life

First I lost my husband. Then my condo. Then my cats. Then I sold all my stuff. I changed jobs. I moved away.

Everything around me was changing. Even my relationships. Friends I thought would stand by my side suddenly wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I lost a whole group of people I used to call my family.

Amidst all the transitioning, it was nice to know that I’d always have my practice.

No matter where I was in the world, no matter where I was sleeping that night, or what new surprise was tossed my way, nobody could ever take away my practice.

You can use your practice as a grounding force – an anchor – amidst the many changes occurring around you as you move through divorce.

4. A daily practice grows with you, & is something that can never be taken away from you
As I grew through & beyond the pain of my divorce, my practice grew with me as well.

I’ll never forget the day, after months of tears & sadness, when I felt pure gratitude while sitting on my yoga mat. And that was just the beginning. Over time, I’d feel happiness, joy, compassion, love, & a deep sense of peace.

The best part about a daily practice is that it can become a permanent fixture in your life, beyond your divorce. It can become an extension of who you are & what you’re feeling in any given moment.

And eventually you’ll realize that, no matter what life throws your way, nobody can take away your daily practice – because nobody can take away your sense of self.

Going through a divorce? Sign-up for my free e-Course, 21-Days to a Daily Practice, & start developing your own daily practice today. I’ll be here to support you.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Carolina January 14, 2013 at 12:33 pm

Im going through a divorce, it being a year and i still lonely and sad dont know,how to handle it. Please help me

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Victoria Gigante January 14, 2013 at 3:03 pm

Caroline: I know it can be difficult. Have you signed up for my free e-course? You are stronger than you realize. Sending you peace & love…

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Marian February 21, 2014 at 6:30 pm

My divorce was finalized over a year ago but I am still frustrated because I can’t seem to stop being mad at him, especially when I found out that he met someone on FB through an ex friend of mine and now he is actually moving to her country. I am seeing sides of him that I never saw before.

Wast it all a lie? :/

Reply

Victoria Gigante February 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm

Marian,

It was not all a lie. You must believe this in your heart.

Things did change, however – and that can be very difficult to handle. It’s not about looking at HOW things have changed, and becoming frustrated and angry. It’s about acceptance of what IS and what WAS. Your past was REAL – and your present is REAL.

So my question to you: Are you willing to take the necessary steps to heal and move forward?

Focus your energy on the present moment.

Sending Peace + Calm,
Victoria

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